What CAN'T you do in a Bangkok taxi?

We got some really mixed messages about appropriate taxi behavior in Bangkok:

This cab's all like 'No, you can't have any fun! No smoking, no durian, no boozing, no dogs watching you do the dirty, no guns shooting at goat-aliens!'

And this cab is like, 'I'm not a real mom, I'm a cool mom. Watch a movie, sing along, maybe get a massage from that chair, be a big shot, gamble and play cards, and bring along that naked chick, it's all OK!'

Also, how much do I LOVE the blazing hot pink taxis?!