Typically my blogs are filled with us doing fun or exciting thing, because naturally that is the stuff that is fun to share. But of course, life in a foreign country quickly becomes regular life, filled with many of the same challenges, frustrations, amusements and joys. There are a few differences - for instance, a daily annoyance that I do not have to deal with is clearing snow and chipping ice off my windshield on a cold Midwestern morning. We didn't even bring coats to Singapore, and I never have to look at the weather forecast to figure out what to wear. But it's a trade-off. This tropical island is also about 9400 miles (or at least 25 hours of expensive travel) from where my parents and siblings and nieces/nephew live.
A difficulty that comes with the territory of living so far away from 'home' (or 'homes' or basically family and friends), is homesickness. This past week I've been feeling a bit down and anxious and teary, and yesterday morning it finally hit me that I just miss home! It was actually a bit of a relief to identify what was making me feel that way. It isn't an unfamiliar feeling - I experienced it several times when I lived in South Africa. Looking at the calendar, I noticed that it's been 7 weeks since I left the States after Christmas which fits in with my own personal homesickness clock - 6 to 8 weeks. That's when it usually gets to me.
So yesterday after work, I made it through a seemingly endless and crowded commute, slumped on my bed and wallowed a little. Fortunately, unlike in South Africa, I DO have family here with me and fortunately, he was home. Jacob helped me wallow a little bit, then took me on a run.We came home and made sushi and papaya-banana smoothies and White Russians, and then I went to bed. Definitely a couple good ways to deal with the homesick, at least short term!
I know I'm not alone in experiencing homesickness - the longing for family or friends or familiarity, or all these things. I've felt it in South Africa, and in Rochester NY, and here. The physical distance doesn't determine the magnitude of the feeling either, though it may present some extra difficulties. Skyping (or Google Hangouts, I'll make the plug) is a great way to stay connected but the 14 hours time difference between here and Chicago makes it difficult to talk during the week.
The feeling may be unavoidable, but you still have to find ways to function. Here are a few things that I've found to be helpful when riding out a wave of homesickness:
- Acknowledge it and let other people know what you're feeling. (Check!)
- Make contact with those you're missing, if possible. Email, skype, Facebook, letters, whatever.
- Put up pictures of family and friends. Our closet doors are covered in pictures and even though sometimes it make me feel sad, it is nice to see the smiling faces and good times. Going back through old photos or videos is fun too.
- Wallow a little. It's ok to feel sad. Then try to stop wallowing and do something fun.
- When it comes to missing family celebrations and holidays, try to recreate some of the traditions. It's also fun to try to share your own traditions with new friends. (SingAmerican Thanksgiving, for instance)
- Food! Make something from home. Tonight I'm planning to make Holly's cinnamon cookies cuz we both LOVE them!
- Tell stories and talk about your loved ones to other people (if you can get them to listen).
- Google Maps! I love visiting my hometown and other special places on Google Maps. Drive around a bit, get nostalgic. This morning I was quite the world traveler, visiting Rochester NY, Boksburg South Africa, Cobham England, Northfield MN, Wheaton IL and Barrington IL.
- Focus on any upcoming visits or travels. My folks are coming at the end of March...just 22 days! We'll be taking a trip to Jogjakarta, on the island of Java. I've reminiscing on the awesome time I had with my parents when they came to South Africa, and getting so excited for the chance to travel with them again soon.
- Be where you are, too. Enjoy the people and experience you have around you. Someday (sooner or later) you'll be somewhere else and you'll be homesick for where you are now.
- Watch videos of cute animals - like this one of Holly & Karl's new puppy, Skippy!
If you have other ideas about good ways to get through homesickness, share them by leaving a comment.